An Average Day
I was sitting by and thinking of how life goes about on a daily basis. I have a four year old and life revolves around the little one, her needs, her wants, her demands, fixing up that broken toy, combing that Barbie doll, cleaning that spill, teaching her, spending time with her, cleaning, cooking, reading etc.
I remember telling myself that I need more time. More time away from all this mommy this, mommy that, more time for myself. I want some me time (I don’t see anything wrong in me time. Don’t get me wrong).
Now my baby goes to school. The morning goes by in getting things ready and sending her off to school. Once she is back home its lunch time and then homework which is followed by her entertainment time –movie/playing with dolls etc. This is the time I take a nap. This is then followed by either meeting people or outdoor activities. Then comes the dinner, clean up, story time and off to bed!
As I sat thinking about how an average day goes by I realized that I have a very few hours that I spend with my four year old and as she grows older this is just going to dwindle.
The more I ponder on this I realize that most of the conversations that I have with her are- Baby don’t do this, No!- Not that, No! You can’t have that chocolate now, Oh! No look what you have done!, You are getting late, What’s that in your mouth?, Sit properly, Eat properly, chew with your mouth closed, Why can’t you just obey? Just listen!
You see, most of the time and effort is spent in trying to correct the wrong things that I have hardly any time to have meaningful conversations! The constant frown on my face and my head nodding from left to right saying – no, that was not how it was supposed to makes my baby see the side of me that always wants things done right.
Taking time out
Children often imitate the person they spend most time with. I always thought why does she frown and have that tone of don’t do that all the time? The answer is, she is trying to imitate me, her mother! My husband always says… Relax take time to laugh… Not all wrongdoings are crimes, let it go. I didn’t see it so much until I sat to think about the conversations that I have with my little one.
It’s good to take time out. To laugh, to talk, relax, to enjoy! It not only make life more meaningful than to go from one task to another but also enjoyable.
Do I mean to say that we should not correct our children? Absolutely not! What I mean to say is there is a way to do it. Start by having meaningful conversations. When there is spill, don’t frown and go I said so, you always etc… This creates in our child a sense of mama/ dada always say this, they don’t trust me… Instead an “Uh oh! The juice spilled. Baby why you don’t get the cloth and help mama clean up the spill?” this will create an atmosphere of trust and the child is able to grow in a loving environment. This way we also help the child to solve a problem. Next time there is a spill the child will not go,” I said so” but will find the cloth and clean that spill.
Like the Chinese proverb goes
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
Time is running out! Let us have meaningful conversation in the limited time of interaction that we have with our children and teach them good values for a lifetime!